Is it Necessary to Fall?

Today I didn't try at all. *shake my head sadly* I failed at staying on my bicycle and not actually falling off for the second time in a week. I think this time it was a little funny because I fell on(yes ON!!! not even OFF) my bike without actually even mounting on it. How could I have possibly done so? Such embarrassment; those camp kids must have pitied me, standing a few feet behind me, wearing bright orange shirts with large white prints that said something motivational something enlightening: I don't know what it said, I couldn't look well because I was busy falling.

Why is the idea of falling so embarassing, completely shameful, so demeaning? I think this shame is exacerbated when you aren't even pushed but rather fall because you tripped or slipped. It's completely absurd when others see you fall and ask "Are you okay?" I want to respond "No I'm actually not okay, I just fell and I think I scraped my really nice legs which already have scars from my previous falls" but all I say is "Yes, thank you for asking." 

Once at a university,( I always fall terribly during summer school programs, maybe I should stop attending them) I fell, running away from the rain. I had my laptop in hand and there was no building close by so I hoped I would make it to my dorm which was about 10 minutes away (such wishful thinking on my part.) I begged the rain not to touch me or my laptop but I forgot it didn't have ears. Not only did I get beaten by the rain but I also slipped and fell down a flight of stairs. I don't know how we both survived but, here I am telling the story... well my laptop didn't really survive.. but again a sweet couple asked if I was doing fine and then I smiled, with all the pain in my knees saying "yes, thank you." I was pretty hurt that day but didn't have the time for formalities: to nurse the pain and feel pity for myself.

Since then, I've been afraid of falling because I might lose my two front teeth and not be able to smile on my wedding day. But even worse than my fear of falling is my fear of failing. It's like falling only it embarrasses your emotions and causes them to sometimes mock you and laugh at you. I'm talking about that feeling where you feel so hot and a certain warmth tickles your stomach muscles and you don't want to swallow your spit anymore because that one goal you worked at for so long wasn't successful. I've been there so many times that it makes me itch. Caution this feeling comes in different forms such as vomiting, crying, fever, depression, overeating, restrictions may apply...See a doctor if symptoms get worse. 

Failing sucks so much that sometimes I'd rather fall and dust off the dirt and get on my bike again. But what if I was to fall off a building? Then I would die! haha let's not trail away to the negative realms.

I think if we begin to see failing as falling, life wouldn't be so terrible. So you failed that test, and it would affect you GPA, and you won't graduate and the worst thing in the world happens and then what? You wake up tomorrow and continue your life. You are not the first person to fail at whatever you are doing and even if you were you would certainly not be the last. It is really what you do after failing/falling that matters. If  you don't get up immediately after failing and falling, it is not much of an issue. You have the chance to cry and wail and nurse your pain and do whatever allows you to cope with your pain and embarrassment but at some point,
you must end your dramatic reaction, get up, and continue to live.

The moving on process is not supposed to be sweet and extra cheesy or creamy or even have some inspirational music in the background. But it can be. You will need to have a more positive disposition towards life and keep telling yourself "It will get better. It must get better. until it actually gets better"